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The mother who dares admit it was hard to love her first child after her second was born

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The mother who dares admit it was hard to love her first child after her second was born

Post  Annabel on Wed 19 May - 11:02

Maybe off topic, but a very emotional and interesting read.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1279485/The-mother-dares-admit-hard-love-child-second-born.html

Annabel
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Re: The mother who dares admit it was hard to love her first child after her second was born

Post  Dimsie on Wed 19 May - 11:56

As you say, an emotional and interesting read, but I agree with the people who said if this article had to be printed at all it should have been done under a pseudonym and with no photos or real names of the children. The writer's daughter is 15, a vulnerable age at the best of times, and really doesn't need the world to know her mother couldn't love her for a considerable period of time after her little brother was born. I daresay the mother wants other people who feel like that to know they're not alone, that others have felt like that too and come through it, but she didn't need to identify herself or her family to do so. IMO while the article may help someone else, it does so at the writer's daughter's expense.

Interesting thought, though, that the birth of a new baby - or babies - can lead to loss of love for the first child and that this feeling can last for quite some time. Not a pleasant situation for the child who finds itself unloved by its mother, though in the case mentioned the father still loved his daughter (thank goodness). I can't help wondering what on earth a family would do if the situation didn't resolve itself, ie if the mother never regained her former feelings of love for her first child.

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Re: The mother who dares admit it was hard to love her first child after her second was born

Post  fedrules on Wed 19 May - 13:44

I agree Dimsie that 15 is a vulnerable age to learn that your mother stopped loving you for a while after your brother was born. My mum once said to me that if she'd 'known then what she knew now' she would've had us aborted! I can't even remember what I'd done wrong, but it was nothing major. I think she was getting at my dad because she was feeling dissatisfied with their marriage at the time and me and my twin sister were conceived before they got married. I still don't understand how my mum could say such hurtful things because I know she loves me, but I think remarks like that make you feel very sad and dejected at the time. I have forgiven my mum and try not to remember such remarks, although I would NEVER say anything like that to any of my sons. I'm not sure that the daughter of this woman is mature enough to cope with this knowledge.
Maybe Kate stopped loving Maddie too when the twins came along, particularly if she was a demanding child which would be likely after having two young siblings come into her world.

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Re: The mother who dares admit it was hard to love her first child after her second was born

Post  ann_chovey on Wed 19 May - 20:06

Hi Annabel I posted this article and then realised you had done so earlier. It struck a chord with me too................

Where her third year should have been there was a blank. It really was as if I had lost my mind, or part of it, during that time.

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Re: The mother who dares admit it was hard to love her first child after her second was born

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