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the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  LJC on Sun 29 Jul - 23:47

You know what p****s me off about this, it's people like yourself saying that neighbours should do their bit to help this woman. You don't know if she has neighbours and if she has, maybe, just maybe, her neighbours are out at work, earning taxes to pay for the benefits this woman will be getting.

The article clearly says it was her neighbours who reported her; they watched her and reported her.

And what p****s me off is people like yourself claiming this woman is on benefits.

I was in no way condoning what this mother had done, in no way. And no way was I saying it was her neighbours' responsibility to help her.

However, community spirit no longer exists. Perhaps a word in her ear first before reporting her. If they had already done that, fair enough I say.

I was very grateful for offers of help when I was a young mum, with a husband who worked shifts and was often unable to assist me in the mornings. And in return I would offer help to others.

She obviously can get down the steps with all of her children but probably found it a struggle. It does not sound as though there were other neighbours who were setting off at the same time of day otherwise they would help I think, and it also sounds like she had no friends nearby.

Of course she should not have left her children, that is blatently obvious. All I am thinking though is that she is nothing like the McCanns who were not under pressure on holiday but did it all the same. I am thinking that the everyday routine for a mother with no family help or help from friends/neighbours is a problem that I never had thankfully. Would I have left my children in the same situation, no definitely not. Would I report someone else who did? After speaking to them, yes if they did not stop it, but I would speak to the person first, explore if there were any other options available to her to resolve her struggle with the school run etc.

You know, somewhere out there, there is a father. Where is he? Surely the father is as much to blame? You know, my husband could not help me very often but if he thought for one minute I was leaving the children home alone he would have gone mad over it and I would have been left in no doubt I had done something very wrong. The father and extended family should also be hanging their heads in shame too I believe.

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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  kathybelle on Mon 30 Jul - 0:35

LJC wrote:
You know what p****s me off about this, it's people like yourself saying that neighbours should do their bit to help this woman. You don't know if she has neighbours and if she has, maybe, just maybe, her neighbours are out at work, earning taxes to pay for the benefits this woman will be getting.

The article clearly says it was her neighbours who reported her; they watched her and reported her.

And what p****s me off is people like yourself claiming this woman is on benefits.

I was in no way condoning what this mother had done, in no way. And no way was I saying it was her neighbours' responsibility to help her.

However, community spirit no longer exists. Perhaps a word in her ear first before reporting her. If they had already done that, fair enough I say.

I was very grateful for offers of help when I was a young mum, with a husband who worked shifts and was often unable to assist me in the mornings. And in return I would offer help to others.

She obviously can get down the steps with all of her children but probably found it a struggle. It does not sound as though there were other neighbours who were setting off at the same time of day otherwise they would help I think, and it also sounds like she had no friends nearby.

Of course she should not have left her children, that is blatently obvious. All I am thinking though is that she is nothing like the McCanns who were not under pressure on holiday but did it all the same. I am thinking that the everyday routine for a mother with no family help or help from friends/neighbours is a problem that I never had thankfully. Would I have left my children in the same situation, no definitely not. Would I report someone else who did? After speaking to them, yes if they did not stop it, but I would speak to the person first, explore if there were any other options available to her to resolve her struggle with the school run etc.

You know, somewhere out there, there is a father. Where is he? Surely the father is as much to blame? You know, my husband could not help me very often but if he thought for one minute I was leaving the children home alone he would have gone mad over it and I would have been left in no doubt I had done something very wrong. The father and extended family should also be hanging their heads in shame too I believe.

She is on benefits and I have no problem with that, I do have a problem with you blaming the neighbours, when you don't know anything about them. I say well done to the neighbours for reporting this selfish mother, yes selfish. You don't know if the neighbours had had a word with this mother. Like me,you only know what is in the papers and I read that this woman was on benefits and she had a car.

Whether she had a car or not or whether she is on benefits or not, is immaterial, what matters is her selfish behaviour towards her baby. Anything could have happened to that baby, when this selfish mother was away for 40 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the afternoon picking up her children.

You don't even know if there is community spirit, you don't even know if the father is involved in the children's lives. The woman certainly wasn't slagging off the father of her children, in the news report I read, she was slagging off her family, who disowned her, because she wouldn't have an arranged marriage. Good for her for refusing to take part in an arranged marriage, but it doesn't excuse her for doing what she did.

The woman had absulutely no excuse for leaving this baby in bed while she took her children to school. She wasn't trying to push a pram down the steps, she had a buggy, which she could have folded up and carried with one arm, while she carried the baby with her other arm.

You say you are a mother, well have you never seen mothers carrying a baby in one arm and a buggy in another? I have and I have done the very same thing, like millions of other mothers and fathers for that matter.

As for the McCanns, I don't know why you are bring them into the equation, we all know what the McCanns did in Portugal. However this is a separate issue from the McCanns. What you should do is compare this woman's selfish behaviour, with the selfish behaviour of the Bolton woman, who left her two toddlers alone, while she nipped to the shops. When she returned, her house was on fire.

The woman had left her door unlocked and one of the neighbours ran in and found the baby in the pram. She wasn't aware that the other child was upstairs in bed, until the woman came back and started screaming for her babies.

Later on the woman gave an interview to the media, she thanked the Guardian Angel who was watching over her children that day. She never mentioned the neighbour who had risked her life to save her baby and she never thanked the Fire Brigade who found her son in bed and saved his life, even though he was badly burned and on a life support machine.

By the way you haven't commented on the woman's apology to the Judge, when she thanked him for letting her off. She said she would never leave her baby in bed again. As I said in my previous post, her excuse for leaving the baby was that she couldn't get the buggy down the steps. If she couldn't get the buggy down the steps, before she was charged and taken to court, how is she going to get the buggy down the steps now?

You might think I'm harsh towards this woman, when I criticise her and If you do so be it. However I will never change my mind where children are deliberately neglected by those who are supposed to take care of them. In my opion in this case, it isn't the neighbours who are to blame, it is the mother of the children, who preferred to leave her baby in a dangerous environment, rather than struggle with the baby and her buggy.


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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  James on Mon 30 Jul - 9:10

Since she was using a car for the school run, why did she need a buggy for the youngest?

the excuse for leaving the child was the difficulty of getting the buggy down the steps. Surely all she had to do was carry the child down the steps and strap it into the car seat. There were two other children. I'm wondering was there enough car seats for the three children and is this the real reason why she left the youngest at home?

I'm also note another example of sloppy journalism. this woman ignored her family and would not enter an arranged marriage. She married for love and the husband must have been around in recent times given the age of the youngest child! Where is he - no information in the article? Shouldn't his role/lack of it have been raised by the judge. Even if he has left her he has a responsibility to see that his children are safe.

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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  Smudge on Mon 30 Jul - 10:00

My youngest was less than 2 days old when I had to get him and his 2 year old sister up to take their older brothers to school. Hubby (now ex thank goodness) refused to get up and wouldn't let me leave the 2 little ones in case they woke him up.
Whatever the weather I never once thought of leaving them as I knew if they woke up they would be crying for me and that was with their father in the house.
I cannot comprehend people who can leave a child alone like that. What if the house caught fire or the mother had an accident on the way back?

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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  kathybelle on Mon 30 Jul - 10:19

James wrote:Since she was using a car for the school run, why did she need a buggy for the youngest?

the excuse for leaving the child was the difficulty of getting the buggy down the steps. Surely all she had to do was carry the child down the steps and strap it into the car seat. There were two other children. I'm wondering was there enough car seats for the three children and is this the real reason why she left the youngest at home?

I'm also note another example of sloppy journalism. this woman ignored her family and would not enter an arranged marriage. She married for love and the husband must have been around in recent times given the age of the youngest child! Where is he - no information in the article? Shouldn't his role/lack of it have been raised by the judge. Even if he has left her he has a responsibility to see that his children are safe.

It looks like her husband doesn't live with her, but maybe he is a responsible husband. Maybe he was out at work when she was taking the children to school and leaving the baby at home. If this is the case, he can't be held responsible for the way his wife behaves when he is at work. If her husband doesn't work, then he is as bad as she is.

I don't believe this woman doesn't have 3 car seats in her car, she must take the baby out along with her other 2 children. However if I am wrong and she only has 2 car seats, she could have put the baby in one of the car seats and strapped the eldest child in the car, using the seat belt. Which is what she will do when she takes all 3 children out, on days other than school days.

I know she is breaking the law, by doing this, but she was already breaking the law, when she left her baby at home in an evironment where the baby could have taken ill, or a fire could have broke out. In my opinion, the first option would have been better than the second one she chose.

While I don't think throwing this lady in jail, was the answer, I think the Judge was out of order, when he brought David Cameron's recent situation regarding his daughter, into the equation. The Camerons rightly or wrongly, were not charged with any offence and in my opinion, the Judge was wrong to use the Camerons, in a bid to sympathise with this lady.


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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  LJC on Mon 30 Jul - 15:31

kathybelle wrote:
LJC wrote:
You know what p****s me off about this, it's people like yourself saying that neighbours should do their bit to help this woman. You don't know if she has neighbours and if she has, maybe, just maybe, her neighbours are out at work, earning taxes to pay for the benefits this woman will be getting.

The article clearly says it was her neighbours who reported her; they watched her and reported her.

And what p****s me off is people like yourself claiming this woman is on benefits.

I was in no way condoning what this mother had done, in no way. And no way was I saying it was her neighbours' responsibility to help her.

However, community spirit no longer exists. Perhaps a word in her ear first before reporting her. If they had already done that, fair enough I say.

I was very grateful for offers of help when I was a young mum, with a husband who worked shifts and was often unable to assist me in the mornings. And in return I would offer help to others.

She obviously can get down the steps with all of her children but probably found it a struggle. It does not sound as though there were other neighbours who were setting off at the same time of day otherwise they would help I think, and it also sounds like she had no friends nearby.

Of course she should not have left her children, that is blatently obvious. All I am thinking though is that she is nothing like the McCanns who were not under pressure on holiday but did it all the same. I am thinking that the everyday routine for a mother with no family help or help from friends/neighbours is a problem that I never had thankfully. Would I have left my children in the same situation, no definitely not. Would I report someone else who did? After speaking to them, yes if they did not stop it, but I would speak to the person first, explore if there were any other options available to her to resolve her struggle with the school run etc.

You know, somewhere out there, there is a father. Where is he? Surely the father is as much to blame? You know, my husband could not help me very often but if he thought for one minute I was leaving the children home alone he would have gone mad over it and I would have been left in no doubt I had done something very wrong. The father and extended family should also be hanging their heads in shame too I believe.

She is on benefits and I have no problem with that, I do have a problem with you blaming the neighbours, when you don't know anything about them. I say well done to the neighbours for reporting this selfish mother, yes selfish. You don't know if the neighbours had had a word with this mother. Like me,you only know what is in the papers and I read that this woman was on benefits and she had a car.

Whether she had a car or not or whether she is on benefits or not, is immaterial, what matters is her selfish behaviour towards her baby. Anything could have happened to that baby, when this selfish mother was away for 40 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the afternoon picking up her children.

You don't even know if there is community spirit, you don't even know if the father is involved in the children's lives. The woman certainly wasn't slagging off the father of her children, in the news report I read, she was slagging off her family, who disowned her, because she wouldn't have an arranged marriage. Good for her for refusing to take part in an arranged marriage, but it doesn't excuse her for doing what she did.

The woman had absulutely no excuse for leaving this baby in bed while she took her children to school. She wasn't trying to push a pram down the steps, she had a buggy, which she could have folded up and carried with one arm, while she carried the baby with her other arm.

You say you are a mother, well have you never seen mothers carrying a baby in one arm and a buggy in another? I have and I have done the very same thing, like millions of other mothers and fathers for that matter.

As for the McCanns, I don't know why you are bring them into the equation, we all know what the McCanns did in Portugal. However this is a separate issue from the McCanns. What you should do is compare this woman's selfish behaviour, with the selfish behaviour of the Bolton woman, who left her two toddlers alone, while she nipped to the shops. When she returned, her house was on fire.

The woman had left her door unlocked and one of the neighbours ran in and found the baby in the pram. She wasn't aware that the other child was upstairs in bed, until the woman came back and started screaming for her babies.

Later on the woman gave an interview to the media, she thanked the Guardian Angel who was watching over her children that day. She never mentioned the neighbour who had risked her life to save her baby and she never thanked the Fire Brigade who found her son in bed and saved his life, even though he was badly burned and on a life support machine.

By the way you haven't commented on the woman's apology to the Judge, when she thanked him for letting her off. She said she would never leave her baby in bed again. As I said in my previous post, her excuse for leaving the baby was that she couldn't get the buggy down the steps. If she couldn't get the buggy down the steps, before she was charged and taken to court, how is she going to get the buggy down the steps now?

You might think I'm harsh towards this woman, when I criticise her and If you do so be it. However I will never change my mind where children are deliberately neglected by those who are supposed to take care of them. In my opion in this case, it isn't the neighbours who are to blame, it is the mother of the children, who preferred to leave her baby in a dangerous environment, rather than struggle with the baby and her buggy.


As for the McCanns, I don't know why you are bring them into the equation, we all know what the McCanns did in Portugal. However this is a separate issue from the McCanns. What you should do is compare this woman's selfish behaviour, with the selfish behaviour of the Bolton woman, who left her two toddlers alone, while she nipped to the shops. When she returned, her house was on fire.

It is not me bringing the McCanns into the equation thank you. The OP does that.

This thread is about parents leaving little ones home alone. Does it matter whether its on holiday or in Bolton or London or wherever else? The end result potentially is the same.

I have made comparison with the McCanns because that is what the OP is inviting us to do.

Yes, she thanked the Judge. This woman has been hauled in front of Court, she has been scared of losing her children, she has no doubt had social services investigating her, she is grateful the Judge did not pass too harsh a sentence. She sounds full of remorse to me, she sounds very sorry, she sounds as though she genuinely loves her children and I hope she mends her ways now and has learned her lesson well. There will not be a next time for her and she knows it.

She is going to have to manage now even if she felt she could not manage before. Like I said previously I believe she can get down the steps with all of the children albeit a struggle and would imagine she has taken all of her children out with her in the past. Why didn't she do it for the school run then? I guess doing it occasionally compared to doing it every day, twice a day, is the difference. School times are very pressurised and it does not sound as though she had a school in walking distance and the parking around schools can be a nightmare. We have had some very wet weather which must make things difficult. I am not making any excuses here, she knows what she has done was very wrong, but we all understand the pressure of the early morning rush to get to school, which clashes with rush hour traffic as well and we all understand the afternoon rush to get the children home from school, again in rush hour traffic, and it is very often simply chaotic and shattering for somebody on their own to do.

No, I do not know what her neighbours are like and neither do you.

As for saying if her husband was at work at school run times he is not responsible either, well that's rubbish frankly. Both parents are responsible for their children if both of their names are on the register of birth. Young mothers get postnatal depression, young mothers feel isolated at times, young mothers often don't have time to snatch a drink and a bite to eat, such is the pressure of looking after little ones. My husband could rarely help me at school times but he would phone home regularly to see how I was, get his mother round to help me at times and he did his best to offer support to me. And yes I have struggled all alone, yes I have walked with folded buggies and babies under my arms, yes I have been reprimanded in public places for breast feeding a very hungary baby, yes I have been in a public place with baby vomit all down my shoulder and front, yes I've done it all and I've childminded other people's children as well, including one who had cancer and died at 8 years of age. But I always had the comfort of knowing, no matter how bad things got, tomorrow was a day when hubby would be around and he would take over some of the routine jobs and give me a bit of a breather from it and it was that thought that kept me going. Heaven knows how I would have felt if I had not got that to look forward to. Single mothers often do not have that, although all the ones I know do have a strong network of extended family around them to help out.

If this mother in question here really had no one to turn to, then yes I do understand her pressure and obviously so did the Judge. I can't answer why the Judge compared it to the mistake that the Camerons made, its nothing like to my mind, but you will have to ask the Judge that, but I do feel the Judge recognised the pressure this particular single mother must undoubtedly have been under.

In fact I think the Judge made mention that if she had left the children home alone for her own self interest then the outcome for her and her children would have been far different - and that is where the McCanns comparison comes into it because that is exactly what they in fact did do.

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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  interested on Mon 30 Jul - 17:07

The Sun has an article about another neglectfull mother - "Mum who drank wine while son drowned in bath is jailed". It's good to see that this mother who "...left her flat to drink wine and chat to neibours..." has been found responsible for her son's death.

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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  LJC on Mon 30 Jul - 17:18

interested wrote:The Sun has an article about another neglectfull mother - "Mum who drank wine while son drowned in bath is jailed". It's good to see that this mother who "...left her flat to drink wine and chat to neibours..." has been found responsible for her son's death.

Yes, agreed. It is apt in this case to give this mother this type of punishment and take the child into care. She was not only leaving a child alone for her own self interest, she left him in the bath into the bargain. That is dreadful neglect of a child, no getting away from it.

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Re: the mccanns are why this mother was let off for child neglect after leaving baby home alone

Post  Wallflower on Tue 31 Jul - 0:52

Well said LJC


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