Letter to Mr Cameron

Dear Mr Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
money on
lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the
following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and
walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment, wheel chairs etc
and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals
and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on
request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with
gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
would have a code of conduct
that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and
unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm,
and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per
week
and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the
mad cow
epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the
county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable
to locate
125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give each of them a cow.










------ Ende der weitergeleiteten Nachricht

This is Brilliant

I love it but it is SO true lol

A friend of mine jokingly said that when she thinks she is old enough to warrant being sent into residential care, she's going to try robbing a bank. Since she wouldn't be very good at it, she'd be arrested and sent to prison, which would be much more comfortable than a residential home for the elderly: she wouldn't have to pay and she'd have TV, computer and all sorts of comforts not afforded to inmates in a home!