Let The Sightings Begin!

David Bret

Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Let The Sightings Begin!
Pardon my cynicism ( a big word for the Loonies but I'm sure some of them have dictionaries), but doesn't it strike you as a little odd that each time there is a birthday, or an anniversary, or when Santa's about to pop down the chimney, that there is another sighting, or some meaningless story cluttering the front pages of the tabloids?


The review team are reported to be following new leads in Spain--save that if you read the small print at the end of each article, or dig a little deeper, you'll see that they were also in Portugal, Birmingham, and Salford. But hey, Portugal's been done to death, and the other plays don't sound that exotic, do they? Oh-Leh, Oh-Leh! And of course, they're not there now--they were there last month, only to report that last month was too far from the season of good cheer. Also, by and large, the broadsheets ignored the situation--as they did other past rumours sparked off by the red-tops, such as the fact that we were all about to die from bird flu.

But, the ploy appears to be working. Now, anyone who looks like Victoria Beckham is probably in as much danger from being accosted by fruit-loops as any little blonde girl might have been playing on our beaches last summer. Go into any town centre, point to a mark on a cloud and say it's a UFO: within an hour hundreds of gullible people will swear blind they've seen a UFO. The woman, if ever there was one, probably looked no more like Victoria than I do--but, the Loonies have fallen for it hook, line and sinker. Henri Mutaten says that he saw her in Barcelona last May, with someone who looks like Victoria. Had the tabloids reported that the "suspect" looked like Betty Boop, then Henri would have seen Betty Boop. And of course, it brings a few more members--and quid--flocking to the Loonies' banner. Just in time for Christmas.

The next "sightings", I predict (there'll be lots more from Spain in the meantime) will occur around February.

In the meantime, King Prawn fruit-loop Henri Mutaten wants to alert ALL the teachers in Europe--he asks that they examine all the little girls in their classes, and ask them where they come from. Doubtless if he does, he'll be told by their parents where to go--though Pamela Gurney assures him that Maddie is currently enjoying private tuition. She knows a lot, does our Pammie. Had she been around during the war she would doubtless have cracked the Enigma Code and left the experts reeling.

No one is entirely sure how many millions of pounds have now been assigned to this completely pointless exercise. And don't get me wrong--no one wants her to be found safe and well more than I do. But it ain't gonna happen. Had there been any hope of finding this little girl, the Portuguese police would not have closed the case. Yet still these people want more: pictures on milk bottles, cornflakes boxes, you name it. Have they NO idea how much this kind of advertising costs--that if they do it for one, then it is only fair that they do it for them all? Do they not realise that 4,000 people go missing in Britain every single day? We have just emerged from one recession, and are heading into another. We have old people in this country who cannot afford to keep warm, we have homeless teenagers sleeping in shop doorways, we have people who are dying of cancer because they are caught up in a postcode lottery and cannot be adequately medicated.

THESE are the people who need your cash--not a ghost which may never be found!
Posted by Lover Of Nice People at 04:46