The Queen will not be amused

west ham have new owners................

Hamster fans must be absolutely delighted that the porn kings have won the bidding frenzy (Well they say there was someone else !).
I dont think the Queen will be amused that the pair of davids that took many years to take Birmingham City to the very edge of mediocrity have taken control of her favourite soccer club.
More so that hammers fans have got to look at that po faced whore sitting in the stands raking off no doubt a lovely salary for her 'loyalty' as vice chairman.(how long before pesci' gets managers job ?)

Dont get excited if you are a fan of the world cup winners cos david and david have not cleared the £100Million debt.And from their track record as businessmen (not football fans - though they claim to be essex boys and life long fans) They have no intention of pouring money at the Regal flops.

On the plus side if David G makes it up with his brother at least they will be able to sport a nice big dildo from Ann Summers sponsorship on their shirts.

And the new club badge is already in the shops.................

And what the two davids have said about their new 'plaything'.............


The new owners have taken a 50% share in the club and plan to immediately ensure the fans can enjoy some top quality adult fun alongside underwhelming pitch-based action.

“The one thing better than watching football, is to watch football whilst sporting the latest designer underwear,” said new Chief Executive David Sullivan.

“We owe it to our supporters to give them a match day experience they won’t forget, and unless they’ve already seen ‘2 girls 1 cup’ they’ll never forget this weekend’s half-time entertainment.”

“We liked the West Ham underwear Katy Perry made for her fiancé Russell Brand, but wait until you see our new range of claret and blue open crotch laderhosen.”

“This is dream come true for David and I. For twenty years we’ve dreamed of selling vibrating plastic vaginas to gullible cockneys, and today that dream came true.”

Expectations

Gold was quick to set realistic expectations, claiming fans should not expect too much, too soon.

“This is a long term project for us, so if you’re expecting lap dancers offering extras at half time then you might have to wait until next season.”

“For the remainder of this season we will focus solely on pushing gaudy pornographic tat at people who will buy anything with ‘Hammers’ written on it.”

When asked about their plans for the management, Gold responded, “Zola? Who’s that then?”

A Birmingham City fans spokesperson said, “I don’t wish to alarm the West Ham fans, but these clowns owned us for 18 years, and in the three months since they left us, we’ve gone on a record-breaking unbeaten run, and we’re currently in our highest ever Premier League position.”

“I’m sure it’s just a coincidence though

your not taking this seriously are you?

Not really.