Carter Ruck to sue everyone! (spoof)

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/carter-ruck-to-sue-everyone-200910142137/

CARTER RUCK TO SUE EVERYONE
LAW firm Carter Ruck is to send you a letter telling you to shut it right now or they will have your house.

The libel lawyers acted after thousands of bloggers and Twitter users ignored a legal bid to suppress information about their client Trafigura and its decision to hose down some Africans with a big boat full of sh*t.

The injunction, brought against the Guardian, was withdrawn last night after Trafigura and Carter Ruck decided it would be more fun to try and intimidate everyone with a computer.

The injunctions will be posted later this week, although the firm have also threatened to sue every postman in Britain if strike action affects their delivery.

DHL will be used to deliver injunctions to the postmen, but if anyone from DHL looks at the addresses then it will be sued and its injunctions will be delivered by UPS who will also be sued and have its injunctions delivered by Federal Express.

Senior partner Denys Finch-Hatton, said: "I have taken advice from myself and will see absolutely everybody in court later this month. As a precaution, I have also taken out an injunction preventing you from telling anyone that I told you that I would see everybody in court and an injunction preventing you from telling anyone that I told you about the previous injunction. And so on."

He added: "As for Trafigura, our clients have stated consistently that they only ever intended to poison the west African coastline with 400 billion gallons of sh*t in a perfectly legal way."

Nikki Hollis, a Twitter from Grantham, said: "OMG Im going 2 b taken to the fkn cleaners! Nu shoes or legal advice – wat 2 do?!?"

I'm aware this is not true, but I believe that a lot of people from other European countries wouldn't know Daily Mash is not a newspaper. It's dangerous. Although I like the article itself

Have amended the title so as not to upset anyone - though I'm sure everyone will realise it's not serious.

Thanks Saloongirl. Much better now

Very funny - and perfectly capturing the mood of the moment.

Thanks Salongirl that was a good spoof.

HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA saloongirl brilliant hun lol
p.s. where,s your dancing girl avatar? :Hiya:

Where's me writ ?

oh dear, postlady's just arrived with a registered letter!

Is it in a great big white envelope? We were all promised one of those, oh what is it, 18 months ago now, at least!

I know there have been postal strikes, but this is ridiculous!