Re: Nigella Lawson "attacked by husband" at Restaurant

Guest Thu 20 Jun - 17:56

AnnaEsse, I think that you could write a book about your life experiences, particularly relating to domestic violence issues. As a matter of interest, have you ever met Erin Pizzey, the founder of the first refuge in the U K?

I am so thankful that I was never in a violent relationship myself, though there was one which was desperately unhappy due to verbal abuse.

I have heard of so many people whose lives have been ruined or damaged due to the actions of controlling individuals.

My son as a child was the victim of a boy of his own age who made his life an utter misery (very similar to an adult partnership where one controls the other, down to the smallest details of their life, such as what they're allowed to eat or what programmes they must watch); it is to my eternal regret that it took me eight years to realise what was going on.

My son has mental health problems to this day but whether they can be attributed entirely to his childhood, I don't know.

**Claudia79** Thu 20 Jun - 19:49

rainbow-fairy wrote:
chrissie wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:No man starts doing this at 70. Sorry, he's probably been a violent son of a bitch all of his life and Nigella should simply get out.

Well said Claudia!
Exactly Claudia!
These men are clever, and will 'catch' a woman when she is vulnerable.
I had watched a verbally, emotionally, financially and physically abusive relationship all my life (Mum and Dad), and suffered myself as I would try to stop it
My sister ended up in an abusive relationship at 16 and at 36 is still there. I, otoh, always said I would NEVER let a man treat me that way.
I had been happily single for 5 years then my Dad died suddenly last July. He had mellowed with age and we got on well so it was a shock as he was only 64.
Well this guy picked me off when I was confused, lonely, etc.
It started under the guise of 'helping', but then he became really controlling; writing me lists of what I had to do that day, if I was 10 minutes late he would freak. He told me I was useless and frivolous with money and started an 'accounts book', making me keep receipts for EVERYTHING I bought (and this was MY money, he didn't have any!)
I bought his daughters (who slagged me down to the ground) phone credit when they texted Daddy begging him for some (to this day they don't know it was me).
He would deny things he said, trying to make me think I was going insane.
When I didn't do much he would say he was 'proud of how much you've improved', when I did loads I got no praise, he'd just say I'd not done enough.
If I did things my way not his, I was a moron and a 'c**t', well that's bad enough but I woke up when the same words were directed at my eldest.
I woke up and got rid, the night he left he grabbed and bruised my wrist and I have no doubt that I would have become a physical as well as verbal punchbag.
I have one gift though - a beautiful 7 week old son who will be brought up to respect women!

PLEASE, if you haven't already, get out Nigella! It will only get worse. Men like that have a wire loose sadly.
You are worth more than that!

Sorry to hear about what you had to go through.there can't be second chances with bullies. They will never change and people have to understand that. The only solution is getting out.
All the best to you and your baby.

**AnnaEsse** Thu 20 Jun - 22:21

Not Born Yesterday wrote:AnnaEsse, I think that you could write a book about your life experiences, particularly relating to domestic violence issues. As a matter of interest, have you ever met Erin Pizzey, the founder of the first refuge in the U K?

I am so thankful that I was never in a violent relationship myself, though there was one which was desperately unhappy due to verbal abuse.

I have heard of so many people whose lives have been ruined or damaged due to the actions of controlling individuals.

My son as a child was the victim of a boy of his own age who made his life an utter misery (very similar to an adult partnership where one controls the other, down to the smallest details of their life, such as what they're allowed to eat or what programmes they must watch); it is to my eternal regret that it took me eight years to realise what was going on.

My son has mental health problems to this day but whether they can be attributed entirely to his childhood, I don't know.

Erin Pizzey! She did great things for women with her first book "Scream Quietly Or the Neighbours Will Hear" in the early 1970s. However, in the 1980s, together with her then new bloke Jeff Shapiro, she published "Prone to Violence" a pseudo-scientific book about how some women were addicted to violence: no references and crazy conclusions extrapolated from situations were women were in. For example, in an area of England (can't recall where it was) a good number of women had been attacked in their own homes. One woman was so scared, she slept in the hallway with a knife. The conclusion Pizzey drew was that the woman was so addicted to violence, she was waiting and hoping that the attacker would come for her! There is real research done by Russell and Rebecca Dobash and by Liz Kelly of London Metropolitan University.

Anyway! To publicise "Prone to Violence" Pizzey was doing an interview tour and one evening at about 5.30pm I got a call from Radio Stoke. Pizzey was due to be interviewed the following evening and would I be available for a link-up by phone to give a response about the book. Well, I hadn't read it. I asked Radio Stoke person to call back in 10 minutes and I phoned the local bookshop. Luckily, the owner, Julia, was still there and she dropped off a copy on her way home.

I was up half the night reading and making notes and was sitting by the phone at 6pm the following evening, quivering! The phone didn't ring until about 6.20, by which time I was sweating buckets! Erin Pizzey had got wind that I was going to be on with her and she had walked out! Phew! I was relieved in a way, but I had really prepared for that!

**AnnaEsse** Sun 23 Jun - 17:40

Nigella Lawson attack: TV chef wants to DIVORCE Charles Saatchi after he was photographed throttling her

The “domestic goddess” has confided to friends she is on the verge of ending her marriage, the Sunday People reports

[url=http://www.mirror.co.uk/all-about/nigella lawson]Nigella Lawson is[/url] preparing to DIVORCE her abusive husband in the wake of [url=http://www.mirror.co.uk/all-about/the people]the Sunday People[/url] photographs that captured her being throttled by him in public.
As she faces the biggest decision of her life, the woman the world knows as the “domestic goddess” has confided in her loyal circle of friends, colleagues and advisers that she is on the verge of ending her 10-year marriage.
A well placed aide told how Nigella, 53, feels “broken and desolate”.
The Sunday People published a series of shocking pictures of her husband Charles Saatchi, 70, grabbing her neck four times at their lunch table outside exclusive London restaurant Scott’s.
If she takes him back her flourishing career in the US could suffer if Nigella is viewed as a woman prepared to put up with domestic violence.
The aide, who has been in regular contact with her since the incident 10 days ago, said: “Her heart is bleeding right now. She wants out.
“Neither she nor Charles are interested in counselling or trying to save the marriage. It seems they’re done and she is broken and desolate.”
The aide is among a group of friends who have spoken anonymously to the Sunday People.
Nigella’s heartache was clear when she was seen out and about on Friday with no sign of her wedding ring.
According to those close to her it was a sign that her intention to divorce Saatchi is all too real.
A legal adviser with links to the couple has told the Sunday People a separation agreement is expected to be drawn up shortly and a divorce finalised in two years.
The adviser said: “It should be done confidentially and quietly and in a dignified manner.”
But should the divorce turn acrimonious Nigella may face losing a chunk of her £20million fortune as most of her fame and earnings have come while married to him.
Another source, who has also spoken to Nigella in the last seven days, said: “This is not how Nigella imagined her marriage might end but she realises it was the tipping point.
“The marriage has been under strain for some time but the choking incident was the end.
“If anything it is a relief for her that it could all be over very soon. There’s a sense she has already moved on in her own head. Rather than dwelling on the past she is already thinking about life without him.”
Another matter Nigella’s friends say she will need to consider is how her relationship will affect her career in the US. She has just finished a series there starring as a judge on a reality TV show called The Taste.
Nigella is a domestic goddess in American eyes too. To stay in a violent relationship could harm her reputation as a strong woman.
The female source said: “Nigella’s friends know there will be no getting back together. If there was, her career in America would nose-dive. Charles comes across as a thug in an Armani suit after this whole sorry episode.”
Last Sunday, hours after we published the pictures, Nigella left her marital home in Chelsea, central London with her son Bruno, 17, carrying a suitcase.
She is in a £10,000-per-week flat in Mayfair close to where her younger sister Horatia, 44, lives.
According to a source riends are begging her to file for divorce. She is already embarrassed about the world witnessing the abuse she suffered at Saatchi’s hands.
The friend said: “While the throttling thing has been horrific, she finds the subject excruciating. She doesn’t even want to talk about it.”
Nigella, daughter of former Chancellor Lord Lawson, 81, married Saatchi in September 2003, two years after her first husband John Diamond died of throat cancer aged 47.
At the time Saatchi was a celebrated multi-millionaire advertising mogul and a renowned art collector.
Since then she has become a household name and is on the verge of superstardom in America.
Meanwhile Saatchi, according to friends, has become a cantankerous old man. One of Nigella’s confidantes said: “Saatchi used to be the king, regarded as the man who made Brit Art. Now he comes across as a grumpy old man.
“The 17-year age difference is becoming a problem. When they first married it didn't seem so great .Now it is like an abyss. There are so many things that they don’t see eye to eye on.
“Nigella lives for food and parties while Charles is slowly starting to be just the opposite. Not many of Nigella’s friends like him but they tolerate him. He is quite old fashioned.” Saatchi divorced his first wife Doris in 1990 after 17 years of marriage.
His second wife Kay divorced him 12 years ago for unreasonable behaviour after 11 years. They have one daughter, Phoebe, 19.
His estimated worth is £120million but divorce lawyer Vanessa Lloyd Platt said: “She would not be entitled to his assets because he amassed most of them before the marriage.
“Anything they have amassed during the marriage, such as property bought together, they’d divide equally.”
Nigella, who also has a daughter Cosima, 19, with John Diamond, has lost around half a stone in the past week.
One friend said: “The weight has been dropping off Nigella. She has an impish sense of humour and has joked to friends that no diet beats the break-up diet.”
At first Saatchi told the Evening Standard the throttling was “a playful tiff” and they had made up by the time they got home. But on Tuesday he accepted a police caution over his abusive behaviour.
He said: “Although Nigella made no complaint I volunteered to go to Charing Cross station and take a caution after a discussion with my lawyer because I thought it was better than the alternative – of this hanging over all of us for months.”
But since then one long-standing associate of his said: “Charles is regretting taking his lawyer’s advice.
“He could have just kept his head down and certainly not taken the caution.”
Shortly before Diamond lost his four-year battle to cancer he gave his blessing to Nigella and Saatchi’s relationship because he did not want his children to grow up without a father figure.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/nigella-lawson-wants-divorce-charles-1982779

**Panda** Sun 23 Jun - 18:30

Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her. ?

**Claudia79** Sun 23 Jun - 18:38

Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me?

**Panda** Sun 23 Jun - 18:58

Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me? Claudia I am not condoning what Saatchi did, but we don't know what started the row , maybe Nigella would have forgiven him if it had not been so public. She has been married to him for 10 years and I am sure it is not the first time Saatchi has been rough with her.

**Claudia79** Sun 23 Jun - 19:11

Panda wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me? Claudia I am not condoning what Saatchi did, but we don't know what started the row , maybe Nigella would have forgiven him if it had not been so public. She has been married to him for 10 years and I am sure it is not the first time Saatchi has been rough with her.

Bullies and abusers don't need reasons to behave the way they do, Panda, the same way rapers don't need reasons to rape or paedophiles to abuse children. It's just the way they are. I have no idea if this had happened before or not but in a way I'm glad it happened publicly or he might have never been seen as the piece of scum he clearly is. No row justifies this behaviour and if she had forgiven him she would have been an idiot and she would be a victim again and again and again.

**AnnaEsse** Sun 23 Jun - 21:41

Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me? Claudia I am not condoning what Saatchi did, but we don't know what started the row , maybe Nigella would have forgiven him if it had not been so public. She has been married to him for 10 years and I am sure it is not the first time Saatchi has been rough with her.

Bullies and abusers don't need reasons to behave the way they do, Panda, the same way rapers don't need reasons to rape or paedophiles to abuse children. It's just the way they are. I have no idea if this had happened before or not but in a way I'm glad it happened publicly or he might have never been seen as the piece of scum he clearly is. No row justifies this behaviour and if she had forgiven him she would have been an idiot and she would be a victim again and again and again.

I agree totally, Claudia. Violent men don't need an excuse though many women will tell you the excuses they come up with. Some of those I have heard from women:

My hair was too long/my hair was too short

The dinner was too hot/too cold

The dinner was late

He'd had a drink/he hadn't had a drink

I was late/I was early

He doesn't like peas/why didn't I give him peas?

There is no excuse for violence. Sometimes it takes women a long time to accept that a violent man is not going to change and sometimes a woman has to go into a refuge a few times before she forgives the man and finally moves on. It's great when they do.

**Lioned** Sun 23 Jun - 22:06

Sadly it was reported on the radio yesterday that she has said she still loves him to bits,so its hard to know what to believe except that he is clearly a controlling bully.

**Claudia79** Sun 23 Jun - 22:33

AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me? Claudia I am not condoning what Saatchi did, but we don't know what started the row , maybe Nigella would have forgiven him if it had not been so public. She has been married to him for 10 years and I am sure it is not the first time Saatchi has been rough with her.

Bullies and abusers don't need reasons to behave the way they do, Panda, the same way rapers don't need reasons to rape or paedophiles to abuse children. It's just the way they are. I have no idea if this had happened before or not but in a way I'm glad it happened publicly or he might have never been seen as the piece of scum he clearly is. No row justifies this behaviour and if she had forgiven him she would have been an idiot and she would be a victim again and again and again.

I agree totally, Claudia. Violent men don't need an excuse though many women will tell you the excuses they come up with. Some of those I have heard from women:

My hair was too long/my hair was too short

The dinner was too hot/too cold

The dinner was late

He'd had a drink/he hadn't had a drink

I was late/I was early

He doesn't like peas/why didn't I give him peas?

There is no excuse for violence. Sometimes it takes women a long time to accept that a violent man is not going to change and sometimes a woman has to go into a refuge a few times before she forgives the man and finally moves on. It's great when they do.

Exactly! Women have to understand that these people don't change. One time is one time too many.

**Claudia79** Sun 23 Jun - 22:35

Lioned wrote:Sadly it was reported on the radio yesterday that she has said she still loves him to bits,so its hard to know what to believe except that he is clearly a controlling bully.

That's not love. Call it need, dependence, obsession, etc. Not love. Love cannot tolerate violence.

**AnnaEsse** Sun 23 Jun - 22:44

Claudia79 wrote:
AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me? Claudia I am not condoning what Saatchi did, but we don't know what started the row , maybe Nigella would have forgiven him if it had not been so public. She has been married to him for 10 years and I am sure it is not the first time Saatchi has been rough with her.

Bullies and abusers don't need reasons to behave the way they do, Panda, the same way rapers don't need reasons to rape or paedophiles to abuse children. It's just the way they are. I have no idea if this had happened before or not but in a way I'm glad it happened publicly or he might have never been seen as the piece of scum he clearly is. No row justifies this behaviour and if she had forgiven him she would have been an idiot and she would be a victim again and again and again.

I agree totally, Claudia. Violent men don't need an excuse though many women will tell you the excuses they come up with. Some of those I have heard from women:

My hair was too long/my hair was too short

The dinner was too hot/too cold

The dinner was late

He'd had a drink/he hadn't had a drink

I was late/I was early

He doesn't like peas/why didn't I give him peas?

There is no excuse for violence. Sometimes it takes women a long time to accept that a violent man is not going to change and sometimes a woman has to go into a refuge a few times before she forgives the man and finally moves on. It's great when they do.

Exactly! Women have to understand that these people don't change. One time is one time too many.

Men just don't deserve those women who keep giving them chances.

When I was a regional coordinator for Women's Aid I met so many women who had given violent men many chances. One such was a woman I had to organise to get out of London. The arrangements were all done by phone. I had her number but she didn't have my ex-directory number so that if her husband found out, he wouldn't know where I was. We would have 20 minutes to get her and her 5 children, the oldest of whom was 5, out of the house. Her husband would go to work, taking the buggy in the car to make sure she couldn't go out. He would return in 20 minutes to make sure she was still in the house and thereafter at intervals. So, as she didn't dare pack anything, the women from London had 20 minutes to get in there, help to pack, get them all into the mini bus and to the station and onto a train. There were women waiting at the other end to take the family to a refuge in another town.

I was by the phone waiting for the call that said, "She's on the train!" Got her out after years of emotional violence, left without money. Wonderful!

**Claudia79** Sun 23 Jun - 22:49

AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me? Claudia I am not condoning what Saatchi did, but we don't know what started the row , maybe Nigella would have forgiven him if it had not been so public. She has been married to him for 10 years and I am sure it is not the first time Saatchi has been rough with her.

Bullies and abusers don't need reasons to behave the way they do, Panda, the same way rapers don't need reasons to rape or paedophiles to abuse children. It's just the way they are. I have no idea if this had happened before or not but in a way I'm glad it happened publicly or he might have never been seen as the piece of scum he clearly is. No row justifies this behaviour and if she had forgiven him she would have been an idiot and she would be a victim again and again and again.

I agree totally, Claudia. Violent men don't need an excuse though many women will tell you the excuses they come up with. Some of those I have heard from women:

My hair was too long/my hair was too short

The dinner was too hot/too cold

The dinner was late

He'd had a drink/he hadn't had a drink

I was late/I was early

He doesn't like peas/why didn't I give him peas?

There is no excuse for violence. Sometimes it takes women a long time to accept that a violent man is not going to change and sometimes a woman has to go into a refuge a few times before she forgives the man and finally moves on. It's great when they do.

Exactly! Women have to understand that these people don't change. One time is one time too many.

Men just don't deserve those women who keep giving them chances.

When I was a regional coordinator for Women's Aid I met so many women who had given violent men many chances. One such was a woman I had to organise to get out of London. The arrangements were all done by phone. I had her number but she didn't have my ex-directory number so that if her husband found out, he wouldn't know where I was. We would have 20 minutes to get her and her 5 children, the oldest of whom was 5, out of the house. Her husband would go to work, taking the buggy in the car to make sure she couldn't go out. He would return in 20 minutes to make sure she was still in the house and thereafter at intervals. So, as she didn't dare pack anything, the women from London had 20 minutes to get in there, help to pack, get them all into the mini bus and to the station and onto a train. There were women waiting at the other end to take the family to a refuge in another town.

I was by the phone waiting for the call that said, "She's on the train!" Got her out after years of emotional violence, left without money. Wonderful!

It's so sad. The biggest mistake is not to leave after incident number one. I hope that woman and her children were able to rebuild their lives.

**AnnaEsse** Sun 23 Jun - 22:55

Claudia79 wrote:
AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me? Claudia I am not condoning what Saatchi did, but we don't know what started the row , maybe Nigella would have forgiven him if it had not been so public. She has been married to him for 10 years and I am sure it is not the first time Saatchi has been rough with her.

Bullies and abusers don't need reasons to behave the way they do, Panda, the same way rapers don't need reasons to rape or paedophiles to abuse children. It's just the way they are. I have no idea if this had happened before or not but in a way I'm glad it happened publicly or he might have never been seen as the piece of scum he clearly is. No row justifies this behaviour and if she had forgiven him she would have been an idiot and she would be a victim again and again and again.

I agree totally, Claudia. Violent men don't need an excuse though many women will tell you the excuses they come up with. Some of those I have heard from women:

My hair was too long/my hair was too short

The dinner was too hot/too cold

The dinner was late

He'd had a drink/he hadn't had a drink

I was late/I was early

He doesn't like peas/why didn't I give him peas?

There is no excuse for violence. Sometimes it takes women a long time to accept that a violent man is not going to change and sometimes a woman has to go into a refuge a few times before she forgives the man and finally moves on. It's great when they do.

Exactly! Women have to understand that these people don't change. One time is one time too many.

Men just don't deserve those women who keep giving them chances.

When I was a regional coordinator for Women's Aid I met so many women who had given violent men many chances. One such was a woman I had to organise to get out of London. The arrangements were all done by phone. I had her number but she didn't have my ex-directory number so that if her husband found out, he wouldn't know where I was. We would have 20 minutes to get her and her 5 children, the oldest of whom was 5, out of the house. Her husband would go to work, taking the buggy in the car to make sure she couldn't go out. He would return in 20 minutes to make sure she was still in the house and thereafter at intervals. So, as she didn't dare pack anything, the women from London had 20 minutes to get in there, help to pack, get them all into the mini bus and to the station and onto a train. There were women waiting at the other end to take the family to a refuge in another town.

I was by the phone waiting for the call that said, "She's on the train!" Got her out after years of emotional violence, left without money. Wonderful!

It's so sad. The biggest mistake is not to leave after incident number one. I hope that woman and her children were able to rebuild their lives.

Women are so amazing. They give these men so many chances they don't deserve. That woman from London was lovely. I went to meet her at the refuge we got her into and she eventually moved into a council house with her children in another part of the country. Victims of domestic violence don't need "local connection" to be housed.

**Claudia79** Mon 24 Jun - 0:22

AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
AnnaEsse wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:
Claudia79 wrote:
Panda wrote:Thanks AnnaEsse, well the Press once again write a load of rubbish. For starters Saatchi is a keen Art collector and is worth Much more than Nigella . Secondly , I don't think this is the first time their arguments have been physical . but Nigella obviously has to think of her career . Had this happened at their home it would have been a kiss and make up thing, do we know what she said to make him turn on her.
?

Excuse me? Claudia I am not condoning what Saatchi did, but we don't know what started the row , maybe Nigella would have forgiven him if it had not been so public. She has been married to him for 10 years and I am sure it is not the first time Saatchi has been rough with her.

Bullies and abusers don't need reasons to behave the way they do, Panda, the same way rapers don't need reasons to rape or paedophiles to abuse children. It's just the way they are. I have no idea if this had happened before or not but in a way I'm glad it happened publicly or he might have never been seen as the piece of scum he clearly is. No row justifies this behaviour and if she had forgiven him she would have been an idiot and she would be a victim again and again and again.

I agree totally, Claudia. Violent men don't need an excuse though many women will tell you the excuses they come up with. Some of those I have heard from women:

My hair was too long/my hair was too short

The dinner was too hot/too cold

The dinner was late

He'd had a drink/he hadn't had a drink

I was late/I was early

He doesn't like peas/why didn't I give him peas?

There is no excuse for violence. Sometimes it takes women a long time to accept that a violent man is not going to change and sometimes a woman has to go into a refuge a few times before she forgives the man and finally moves on. It's great when they do.

Exactly! Women have to understand that these people don't change. One time is one time too many.

Men just don't deserve those women who keep giving them chances.

When I was a regional coordinator for Women's Aid I met so many women who had given violent men many chances. One such was a woman I had to organise to get out of London. The arrangements were all done by phone. I had her number but she didn't have my ex-directory number so that if her husband found out, he wouldn't know where I was. We would have 20 minutes to get her and her 5 children, the oldest of whom was 5, out of the house. Her husband would go to work, taking the buggy in the car to make sure she couldn't go out. He would return in 20 minutes to make sure she was still in the house and thereafter at intervals. So, as she didn't dare pack anything, the women from London had 20 minutes to get in there, help to pack, get them all into the mini bus and to the station and onto a train. There were women waiting at the other end to take the family to a refuge in another town.

I was by the phone waiting for the call that said, "She's on the train!" Got her out after years of emotional violence, left without money. Wonderful!

It's so sad. The biggest mistake is not to leave after incident number one. I hope that woman and her children were able to rebuild their lives.

Women are so amazing. They give these men so many chances they don't deserve. That woman from London was lovely. I went to meet her at the refuge we got her into and she eventually moved into a council house with her children in another part of the country. Victims of domestic violence don't need "local connection" to be housed.

I wish they weren't so amazing so they wouldn't give those men a second chance. Kids should be taught from a very young age not to tolerate any kind of violence. There was a study released here recently that showed that violence between young people who date is increasing, ffs!

**Panda** Thu 27 Jun - 8:24

Nigella packs her bags: Hopes of saving her marriage look grim as removal men clear home of her belongings... and she's even taking the cookbooks and the blender
Move seems to dash hopes of reconciliation with husband Charles Saatchi
Removal van came to Saatchi's £14million home yesterday afternoon
Miss Lawson was not seen and Saatchi turned up only after they finished

By Neil Sears

PUBLISHED:22:31, 26 June 2013| UPDATED:07:58, 27 June 2013

196shares

419

View
comments

Glum: Nigella Lawson seen leaving the rented Mayfair flat where she has been staying since her husband was pictured throttling her in a restaurant

When she moved out, her husband played down photographs of him grabbing her by the throat and tweaking her nose at a restaurant as a ‘playful tiff’.

But Nigella Lawson appeared yesterday to have dashed any hopes Charles Saatchi may have that their marriage can be reconciled.

She sent a van to take away not just her clothes but also her precious cookery utensils and recipe books – everything, it seems, but the kitchen sink.

The arrival of the removal team at the £14million marital home in Chelsea was the clearest sign yet that the TV chef’s marriage split may be permanent.

They appeared in the middle of the afternoon, evidently while Saatchi was out.

Under the direction of Miss Lawson’s sister Horatia, they trooped in and out of the house removing box after box, including ones labelled ‘cookbooks’ and ‘kitchen’ as well as a food processor, clothes and paintings.

Other items including Miss Lawson’s weights and exercise ball, dresses, hats, toys, toiletries and even a bag of wrapping paper were loaded into the van.

One box contained a can labelled Cannabis – which despite the alarming name is a legal energy drink containing hemp extract.

Miss Lawson was not seen and Saatchi turned up only after the process was complete. There were so many possessions that the removal team made two runs.

One onlooker said he had been told that some statues had been removed earlier in the day.

‘It looked very much like Nigella is moving all of her personal possessions out of the house – and isn’t going to be back in a hurry,’ he said.

More...
Rod Stewart and wife Penny put on loving display at lunch... at same table which saw Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi's now infamous 'tiff'
Defiance of Charles Saatchi: Multi-millionaire advertising mogul dines alone again at the restaurant where he throttled his wife Nigella
Nigella 'to fly to the U.S. months earlier than planned' as Saatchi claims he was merely wiping his wife's nose during restaurant tiff

Many items were apparently taken to a storage facility while the rest were taken to an address some seven miles away in south-west London where Miss Lawson appears to be setting up home.

She was spotted yesterday with Bruno, her 17-year-old son from her first marriage, before heading back to the £10,000-a-week Mayfair flat where she has been staying.

The 53-year-old has been seen there several times looking drawn and without her wedding ring, and while her two children and sister have visited, there has been no sign of her husband of ten years.

Moving out: Miss Lawson's keep-fit equipment is packed into the van, along with bags and her Gibson guitar ...

... not forgetting the collection of summer hats and boxes of items, including a can of Cannabis Energy Drink

Seems to be a permanent decision: Workers trooped in and out of the house removing box after box, including ones labelled ‘cookbooks’ and ‘kitchen’ as well as a food processor, clothes and paintings

Saatchi, 70, has accepted a police caution for assault for the scenes that provoked their split, despite playing it down.

The advertising tycoon turned modern art mogul was photographed grabbing Miss Lawson by the throat and tweaking her nose outside Scotts restaurant in central London during an extraordinary 27-minute incident three Sundays ago.

When Miss Lawson left home after the photos were published a week later, Saatchi claimed he had simply suggested she moved out to wait for ‘the dust to settle’.

He initially tried to explain the throat-grabbing as a ‘playful tiff’.

When further pictures of him twisting Miss Lawson’s nose emerged, he said he had merely been trying to clean her nose.

Miss Lawson’s spokesman last night continued to refuse to comment either on the assault incident or on the state of her marriage.

But moving her belongings to a different house would appear to signal the start of a divorce between the millionaire celebrity chef and Saatchi, who is said to have a fortune of up to £100million.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2349148/Nigella-Lawson-packs-bags-Removal-men-clear-home-belongings.html#ixzz2XOnwQ0Cd
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Guest Sat 29 Jun - 12:08

As a matter of interest, I've just had an e-mail alert (12.05) to say there's a new posting on this topic. There isn't; anyone know why this happens - not just on this topic but elsewhere from time to time?

**Panda** Sat 29 Jun - 12:18

Not Born Yesterday wrote:As a matter of interest, I've just had an e-mail alert (12.05) to say there's a new posting on this topic. There isn't; anyone know why this happens - not just on this topic but elsewhere from time to time?

I just cancelled a post about Nigella which was in HuffPost, but when I realised it was taken from the British Post I cancelled. Sometimes, I click "send" and nothing happens so I click send again and realise the post has been duplicated so I cancel the second post. Nigella Lawson "attacked by husband" at Restaurant - Page 2 294124

Nigella Lawson "attacked by husband" at Restaurant - Page 2 294124

**Lioned** Sat 29 Jun - 20:55

Well she is still welcome to come and live with me and Mrs L if she wants.

**Krisy22** Sat 29 Jun - 21:55

Lioned wrote:Well she is still welcome to come and live with me and Mrs L if she wants.

You just want some free nibbles Lioned. Nigella Lawson "attacked by husband" at Restaurant - Page 2 294124

**Panda** Sat 29 Jun - 23:45

Lioned wrote:Well she is still welcome to come and live with me and Mrs L if she wants.

UUM , is Mrs L aware of your offer. Nigella Lawson "attacked by husband" at Restaurant - Page 2 294124

Lillyofthevalley Sun 30 Jun - 20:18

I read today it's to do with hubby wanting Ngellas son out! Well if that's the case I'm pleased she is sticking up for her son and not that fat lump of s*** Nigella Lawson "attacked by husband" at Restaurant - Page 2 25346

Nigella Lawson "attacked by husband" at Restaurant - Page 2 25346

Guest Sun 30 Jun - 20:29

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/nigella-lawson-views-11000-a-month-rental-2011242

Lioned, I'm sure that Nigella will appreciate your kind offer to save herself the expense of 11 grand a week! Mind you, you will gain two teenagers as well.

Guest Sun 7 Jul - 9:02

http://news.sky.com/story/1112501/charles-saatchi-files-for-divorce-after-row

It would be interesting to have a public comment from Nigella.

Sponsored content